hi fam

i'm in good mood now, and, i don't know why, but i feel strong need to share with you my story about my fight with anxiety. Maybe i should place trigger warner here, don't know who may read this. I don't mean social anxiety, i mean... i don't know... it's more looks like obssesion, or post-traumatic, or just an anxiety. Like everyone, I always had some fears, and one of my most specifical fears was a fear of gas explosion in my house (i live in a flat), and at 31th december 2018 it took place in the one russian city (not my) . It was very strong- it destroyed the whole entrance, more than 30 people died. I didn't react at once-but at the next day something got me to look at all this shit and here.... what i got. I had awful and strong sensory accociations and thoughts for a long time. Thanks to my mom, she started to help me. I got better at the middle of january, but i still have some thoughts and associations. I can't belive i have this shit more than month, but yep. I still imagine explosions, and like roof fall on me, or like i'm falling from my 7th floor and die. But i feel really better now. And you know, like one of my relatives said to me, i'm trying to set my mind to something good, and to thanks my fears for this challenge, because it would do myself stronger if i'll pass it, and i think i really CAN thank it, because if i didn't had it, i wouldn't be the one who i am now, And one more point, that i find out today-i may F*CKING LOVE my anxiety. I don't know how, but i can! i'll further fight against it, but i feel myself a looooot better and more confident. And it helps me with selflove too! Now I understand that I can love myself! And i'm so happy now that yes, i decide to share it with you. I hope i haven't triggered someone here, because i want everyone to feel themselves good too!

your EndlessSkyPride